Loving is believing..
believing in a mystery..a beautiful mystery
a total stranger turning into a soulmate
thrones turning into flowers
gutters turning into gardens
birds singing in the desert that was once your heart

Loving is to submit
and be swept off your feet
because you believe..
that all is possible
and everything gloomy becomes glossy and beautiful

Even after you lost faith.

By: Asia Aboosy

My Second Visit to Mogadishu

In Jan 2020, i took two months off and went to see hubby & family. Two months off of everything. Except for occasional posts on my personal platforms and selling my product physically. 

But everything else was off. 

I didn’t listen to any audiobooks. Didn’t check emails. Didn’t monitor any goals or habits. Just quality time with hubby & family. 

I was privileged to see both in this travel. I was privileged to have my husband by my side in Mogadishu & Nairobi. I was privileged to spend time with my Hoyoo, sisters, sister in law & nephews.

Time flies !!

At times, I was inconvenienced by some of the realities in Nairobi & Mogadishu. And I had to keep checking myself as this is nothing but a fraction of reality for people who live their permanently, or chose to live there like my family.

Coming from the west, I realized, we take sooooo many things for granted like healthcare, infrastructure..and, more importantly, safety.

I am always humbled after my visits to homeland and my experiences there. I will share some of my reflections about Xamar in here:

Okay. So one thing that kept me terrified, most of the time, was riding bajajs (Tuktuk). I know it’s funny but that was my reality lol 😂.

Every time I rode one, I would read all my dua’s, and keep watching out for cars/ trucks and warning (read: annoying) the driver. Huge container trucks that can block a whole street are the norm in Mogadishu. Especially when you live close to the Bakaro market. They are always on the streets. I was mortified.

Trucks, people, cars, bajajs all fighting for the right of the road while not having proper traffic lights or street infrastructure can be a recipe for a disaster. But nothing happened; I haven’t witnessed one accident in my time of stay.

Another thing that I noticed and probably rubbed me off the wrong way; was the presence of foreign armies/tanks in Xamar. While I understand, again, that I come from a place of privilege, it irked my Somaliness & national pride.

One day I was at Digfeer hospital visiting. As I was coming out I saw two tanks coming in to the hospital. You would think a war was about to ensue in the area. But upon closer investigation and inquiring, I figured out that apparently they were escorting a Turkish (or Somali) official.

What even bothered me more was, the normalcy of the whole situation for the locals. They were like “oh yeah that’s normal”.

“Normal what ? Normal where?.” I wondered.

Having a foreign army cruise the capital city like that is NOT normal. It shows power and superiority and it undermines our sovereignty.

Of course, that’s my opinion.

Now, I understand that Xamar is not completely safe. But I think Somali tanks should escort them instead. Don’t you think?.

I also think, security matters should be on the TOP of the government’s priorities. If push comes to shove, I think *those officials* should go visit a health care facility in Xalane base. Not go to the middle of the capital and pretend they own these streets.

And by the way, another thing that I observed in Xamar, was how officials are treated differently. These public servants are treated like kings!!

Whenever an official is passing by the city all the roads have to be closed and the people *who supposedly chose those officials* have to suffer and be stuck for hours.

In other words, normal people are treated like second class citizens in their own city.

And who’s fault is that?

Our own!! Of course.

Who are these foreign tanks protecting us from? Our own brothers and sisters? From some other Somalis who are committed to killing us?.

Sadly, this is our doing.

I don’t know how Xamar can ever be cleaned from these monsters and corrupted officials. Who at times, work hand in hand and protect each other’s interest in the city.

At the end, it’s people who lose. On. Every. Level!

Officials are living their best lives in their gated communities and built smooth streets, and all the check points that exclusively protect them.

If officials were working on the people’s interest, they would put in the same effort to make the whole city safe; just how they managed to keep their areas safe. Don’t you agree?.

I keep coming back to the same conclusion; at the end, it’s normal people who lose and suffer.

————

So guys, this was my second visit to Xamar. I didn’t share my thoughts after my first visit in the end of 2017-because I had all these dreams about Xamar prior to going and they were crashed by the reality. 😔

This time, I knew what to expect. Xamar is a beautiful city that needs good people.

In conclusion, it is my hope that one day, soon inshallah, I’ll be able to visit Xamar and not see any check points or foreign armies. It’s my hope that ALL neighborhoods will be safe and that safety won’t be a privilege, but rather a basic human right.

It is my hope that we restore our pride and leave this survival jungle mentality behind.

It’s my hope that Mogadishu becomes inclusive as it should to every Somali.

Till we see that day inshallah I leave you with my thoughts.

By: Asia Aboosy 

How to Avoid Being Naive.

Have you ever realized that someone you thought was a 'friend' is in reality a 'frenemy’?
Have you ever realized that someone you trusted is low-key sabotaging your success? 

Just because you have good faith in people doesn't mean you should be naive. 

Here are some lessons I learned to stop being naive & step-up my game; 

1-Honesty isn't always the best policy, keep your personal information private for your own sake. Life is a chess game; sharing can leave you vulnerable to your ill-wishers.

2-Even better; get better at reading people. Human beings are predictable. So get better at anticipating people's behaviour by listening more and paying attention to their words and actions. It's a learnable skill.

3-Listen to your gut feeling. This 'God-given' magic feeling that is supposed to alert you when something/someone isn't trustworthy. Our gut feelings are useful; use them. 

4-Grind in silence! They won't see it coming, and they won't know what hit them. Live by Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) 's words: "استعينوا على قضاء حوائجكم بالكتمان" "; basically, fulfill your needs in silence. 

5-Basically, privacy is power. 

Have you ever experienced an instance where someone took advantage of your naivety & trust? 

#TeamPinnacleofDominance 
#Privacy #Informationispower #Success #Beingincontrol 

By: Asia Aboosy*Image: Google 

WINNING THE LAST 124 DAYS OF 2019..

As this year comes to an end, many will start to reflect on their year and suddenly wake up from their long snooze.

Many were hoping this year will be ‘THE’ year. The year where transformations took place; where books were read; where bodies were transformed; ...etc. You fill in the blanks.

Progress is a human need. I believe this with every fibre in my body. 

According to @Tony Robbins, “Progress equals happiness.” Humans have this dire need to better themselves and scale to the next level. 

If this isn’t provided, then they feel ‘stuck’, a sense of stagnation takes over, and eventually they become unhappy. 

Just working towards something, anything, helps!

 I think what happens to many of us, is that we get overwhelmed when we try to set goals. Because we have this ‘ideal’ image in our head of who we are ‘supposed’ to be. 

“I need to memorize the Quran”, “I need to read 100 books this year” …etc. 

So many thoughts racing in your brain. Too many neurones firing.  “THIS IS TOO MUCH”, you think. 

Then survival brain takes over. It asks your brain to go back to the normal equilibrium that it recognizes.

Here's the truth; 

We want change, but not TOO MUCH. It has to be done slowly and consistently. 

At the beginning of this year, and 2018, and 2017, I had comprehensive gaol plan. However, this year, is the only year, where I came very close to closing on half of what I set out to achieve (Pay attention, half!! Haha). 

These are the areas where I substantially lacked any improvement even by 25%;

• 1-Financial &Business
• 2-Reading
• 3-Establishing a morning routine

For the last part of the year, I will focus on achieving #3, inshallah. 

So my advise to you dear readers, I mean if you reached this point, you might as well have a take away, right?.

Pick one thing, a habit, or skill, that is fundamental to your future success and WORK on day in and day out. 

What is the one thing you can work on and accomplish before the end of 2019? 

*Image: google

Me Without a Smart Phone? ..

I wonder if I would be this very Asia I am today had I lived in a different century or era. 

An era that had no technology and smartphones. An era where one isn't constantly bombarded with TOO much information, too much hate, too much resentment, too much criticism, too many options, too many opinions coming from too many virtual people you don't even know....everything is just TOO MUCH.

One can't breathe. One can't seem to have a moment to themselves.

The other day my battery died on my way home and I was riding the bus. I had 30 whole minutes to myself. I wanted to read but I wasn't carrying a book. I was left to be... with myself alone.

Be alone with myself?

Yes! And I realized that I hadn't been alone with myself for so long. In fact, I don't remember the last time I spend conscious time with myself.

It was a strange feeling; it was awkward.

Do not get me wrong, I do usually have a couple of minutes to myself before falling asleep, but I'm usually thinking of my plans for the following day, reflecting on something that happened that day, or reading my sleeping supplication. 

Did you read what I said there? a couple of MINUTES, not HALF AN HOUR, or more.

But this was strangely unexpected.

For a moment everything in my head was silent and it was like I was on the top of a mountain just by myself. No one to talk to, no company, no distractions. Nothing. Just me facing me.

It was a reunion kind of feeling, like meeting a close friend I haven't spoken to for a while. I needed a moment to reconnect again, to retrace my steps, and build on what we used to have.

When I met that friend, I couldnt be too pushy, I couldn't be invasive and ask too many questions, I couldn’t be extremely anxious of the silence..I had to let it be. 

I had to be calm and welcome any thoughts, ANY thoughts. Because for a while I was searching for a conversation to have with myself..

‘Let it be Asia. Just let it be...’

Anyway, that day got me thinking that we don't spend enough time with ourselves.

And some of us from this generation might depart this world not meeting, or knowing themselves. How sad is that?

We don't think enough of the affect that this revolution of technology have on us. How it made us all disconnected, not just from other, but ourselves too. How we think we are learning and are exposed to a lot of information, yet we can never have the patience to be on one thing for more than ten minutes.

The trade off is simple; our time and attention. But in exchange of what? what do we gain in this process though?

Being superficially connected to too many people?

having more pressure to compete with what others 'post' on social media posing as if they're leading perfect lives?

being anxious all the time not knowing why?

having the pressure to 'do' something for the sake of 'showing' the public you're leading an interesting life?

not being present in any moment and always checking your phone?

constantly worrying about how others are doing 'something' with their lives and you are not?

feeling like you’re stuck in the same place for years because now Facebook sends you reminders of your old posts?

I mean, I know it's only going to get worse than this. This technology and constant exposure isn't going anywhere. So it's time that we learn how to handle it wisely, in a way that doesn't harm us.

The other day, me and my sister were standing in a queue at TimHortons. An older man behind us in the queue saw us checking something online and wondered if we were ordering our drinks from the App. We weren't, but the man's questions was valid because we are a lazy generation who orders everything online even when we are inches away from the counter. We spoke briefly and he showed us his old flip phone. We laughed and I legit wondered how he survived in the world, without using the GPS, without using any apps, without using social media, without checking the weather, without using the internet to search...I mean, wait, what?..but I guess he's better of without it.

I bet he don't waste his time like us.
I bet he isn't addicted on the internet.
I bet he has more meaningful relationships than tagging each other on funny videos.
I bet he doesn't depend on the GPS because he uses his senses for direction.

Have you guys noticed how nowadays we need an app for everything, for direction, for eating, for sleeping, for feelings...etc.

And that's the problem, that's my issue with this technology, we lose touch with our instincts, our senses, with, basically, OURSELVES.

I am not proposing we get rid of our social media and smart phones, but I urge myself and this generation to be smart-ER in using them.

Let's spend sometime with ourselves, even if it's ten minutes or thirty minutes a day. Lets spend some un-social media interrupted time with our loved ones. Let’s try to be more present in our REAL lives. Let's try to be more grounded and learn who we are without our attachments to our phones and our virtual identities.

I read somewhere that a healthy rule of thumb when dealing with smartphones is to turn off your screen time an hour before you sleep, and to not check your social media first hour in the morning.

That is, if you want to be conscious of your thoughts and be more grounded in your life.

I don't know if I would be this Asia I am today had I lived in a different time, but what I know is this: 

I do want to live my full potential and be the highest form of myself. I want to be aware of my thoughts and not depend on any material things. I want my relationships to be more meaningful and I want to achieve self-actualization. 

To do so, I would have to learn to live without my smartphone for sometime each day. 

By: Asia Abbeys 😀

#socialmedia #meaningfulrelationships #Mindfulness #happiness#selfcare

My Journey with 'Somalinimo' and Meeting my Husband: Ahmed Deeq

I have never appreciated plain questions like: what is your happiest, or saddest moment, in life. 

I thought they were limiting. 

I, also, never believed that one moment can define your life: you can have many equally happy moments, or equally sad moments in life. Indeed, I thought, our lives are complex and our questions should be too. 

But after many years I realized that, surely our lives are complex, but one single moment can change the trajectory of your life to a completely new dimension. 

Now if you ask me a plain question such as: 'What is the moment you're most grateful for Asia?', I would gladly answer you. 

I want to show you how a single moment, or a simple interaction with a complete stranger can change who you're fundamentally. 

But to do so, I will have to give you some background. 

When I first met my now husband, Ahmed Deeq, in Malaysia in 2010, we were classmates. Complete strangers. I was new to Malaysia, and my new found 'Somalinimo' was still very tender and fragile. 

Previously, I lived in Syria for many years. For the longest time, I didn't have a sense of 'Somalinimo' and who I was. Yes, I heard stories about our land. Yes, I listened to some relatives recounting the horrors of the 'Qax' (forced migration) period in Somalia. 

But it didn't mean anything to me. No one I knew, or directly related to me, was affected by it. My parents left Mogadishu few months before the collapse of the central government. 

Doma, the city we lived in for many years had only four Somali families. That's it. Their children also were born in the diaspora so they also didn't have a sense of home, or identity. 

Understandably, I blended in my environment then, Syria. I forgot I was Somali. 

Till, I was reminded. 

Fast forward to when I came to Malaysia, I encounter a huge Somali community. A neighborhood in Kuala Lumpur was called 'Muqdishu yare'; you'd see Somalis sitting in the cafe's, outside cafes, walking around, children running around, Somali grandmas accompanying their children. Suddenly, I feel Somali again. I am reconnected with my ‘Somalinimo’. 

Little did I know that 'Somalinimo' doesn't mean one thing. and it’s more than just an ethnicity. 

I romanticized the word ‘Somalinimo.’ I fell in love with it. I had hope that, one day soon, I will pay a visit to the homeland I've never seen. I attended Cultural events. I cheered LOUDLY for the Dhantoo and the blue flag. Then, I saw another flag that was also, to my surprise, Somali. It was the first time, believe it or not, I was introduced to the concept of Somaliland. 

I couldn't accept it. I resisted it. 

In the English class that Ahmed (a fierce Somalilander), and I shared we had many debates. He used to write essays about the political history of Somaliland. I, on the other hand, used to rob him of this right. I used to debate with him and turn the whole class atmosphere to a debate arena of Somalia vs. Somaliland. 

In hindsight, this is what I think: I was an 'imposter.' I pretended I knew something I didn't know and defended a fantasy. 

When in reality Ahmed was..defending his truth. 

Ahmed has lived his whole life in the mother country. Ahmed lived its political chaos, his whole family was affected by its outcome. He believed in the re-birth of Somaliland. 

And here I am a person who didn’t, yet, step a foot in Somalia/Somaliland has the audacity to open my mouth. 

Outrageous, right? 

Whether you agree or disagree with me, he was closer to the truth than I was ever. 

But anyhow, he tolerated me. He tried to be rational with me but I wasn't having it, till we finally agreed to disagree. 

We parted ways; I moved to the Philippines. 

Years later, we get in touch again, while I'm working in SOMALILAND. Of course, he could not believe it. 

This time around I was more mature and open-minded. We dissected issues and talked about Somali history. 

I learned more history from Ahmed than I ever did from any textbook. 

Looking back, what I appreciate most about him is that he always kept the door wide open for discussion, he never attacked or slandered anyone, he was straight to the point, and always dissected issues like an expert. Because he is one (He has a bachelor and masters in Political Science). 

I, on the other hand, listened, this time around. Because I knew better. I had the chance to go to the mother land, work, and live there. 

I understood that 'Somalinimo' was complex. 

However, I had a better sense of what 'Somalinimo' is. And what constitutes a Somali person. 

For me, it's, of course, bigger than recent history, division, and/or politics. It goes way back. It's our back bone.

I could not be more wrong when I tied 'Somalinimo' to a political symbol like a flag. Then tried to defend it. 

I am, now, married to that Somalilander and I am PROUD of it.

Through out my journey of discovering my Somali identity, what 'Somalinimo' means to me, the realities of what's called 'Somali Weyn' (The greater Somalia), Ahmed was there. 

And never did he judged or belittled my version of 'Somalinimo', he never called me 'Ciyaal caseer', he, also, never imposed ‘his’ version of ‘Somalinimo’ on me either. He only discussed. 

And I wish more of us can do that. If we did that,I’m sure Somalia Weyn would be a less problematic place. 

So, here's my answer to your 'plain' question: 

'I am grateful for the moment I opened my mouth, though foolish, that day because I had the chance to meet this great man I now call my husband; Ahmed Mahamed. 

💜

By: Asia Aboosy 

Ps. This picture was taken in Hargeisa Cadeey. 

#Somalinimo #Somalia #Somaliland #Journey #Love #Marriage #Writing#Article #SomaliyaadiyoSomalilander #SomaliCouple 

On my Tardiness..

*Self-reflection post alert.

How often do I take selfies early mornings at 7:30 AM? The answer is: NEVER.

But today I did. A miracle, I know!

Everyone who knows me knows that I'm always late. Late to my classes. Late to work. Late to any social event I'm invited to. Late to seminars. Late to doctor appointments...I even once was late to an appointment I MADE with the chairperson of Graduate studies at a prestigious university. I mean do you know how valuable those people's minutes are right?! Needless to say, I was also late to my graduation ceremony at university. (Indeed, I say this with shame and guilt). 

Tardiness has been a weakness of mine ever since I can remember.

In Syria, when me and my sister were in middle school and we had to commute via. school bus which, regretfully, comes at a certain time, I almost always missed it. Hoyoo (mother) wouldn’t allow my sister to take the bus without me, because then I would have to walk on my own to school, which wasn’t that far by the way, but nevertheless anything could happen. So she suffered with me.

In University days, hoyoo used to stay awake in the morning with a slipper in her hand, to make sure I leave home early- sometimes too early. I used to get mad and ask her ‘ how come she didn't treat my other siblings the same way’, and would respond: 'I know they are responsible with their time.'

I, the one who suffers from the infamous first-born syndrome, I, the first of her name to eight children, if I am not responsible with time, how can THEY be? I wondered silently and continued living with my other syndrome: tardiness.

When I was leaving to Somalia after finishing my studies in the Philippines, despite my tardiness and despite failing a subject that was scheduled at 7:30 AM (Seriously, who schedules classes that early unless they want you to fail?) merely on the merits of lateness and insufficient attendance, I bought a book about self-sabotage and that was my actual first step.

In one chapter the author addresses the Psychology of lateness and relates it to self-sabotage. She says “being late is your unconscious (intuition) telling you that that you don’t actually want to be there, or that it would be better for you not to be there—for instance, it could be that a meeting (or even a job) is not the best use of your time, or will inevitably work against your own best interests." Inspired by the book and the persuading case studies the author presented; I took an oath and told myself 'Never again.'

But, again and again, it happened...

And I continued to survive with my bad habit. If you take a peek and read my journals (May this never happen!) you will see me talking about this numerous times, reflecting on it, promising myself that change was on the way. It bothered me yet it felt as if my hands were tight to my back. Paralyzed.

In the morning, my sleep is the sweetest thing ever. My priority and preeminence. You cannot convince me otherwise or remove that hidden glue, no amount of warnings or nagging alarms can rescue me from that state. I could murder for it. And so after I rise from bed, eventually, I deal with the consequences accordingly.

That was my plan up to last week, and I guess I exhausted and abused it..

So whats the life altering, gut wrenching incident that happened on Tuesday, you may ask dear friends?

And here's what happened. While sneaking into my job at around 8:55, when I was supposed to be there at 8:30 AM, the executive director of the firm I work for saw me and threw the bomb at me. The most embarrassing bomb ever!!!

She exclaimed, "Are you just coming in??!” Loudly. In front of MY COLLEAGUES. I felt as if a tornado hit my head, I felt dizzy. I wished the floor could crack open and swallow me. I was so ashamed. I mumbled and blubbered and gave a pity excuse about the bus. (It's always the bus since middle school !.)

She responded sarcastically, "You must’ve taken a later bus". I kept quiet, and sucked in all the shame in the world.

It's important to note that my boss is an assertive black lady who is very vocal. She gives it to you like it is. No sugar coating or nonsense which I appreciate a lot in normal circumstances.

I vowed again, never again. NEVERRRRRR Asia!

Even if it meant me not going back to sleep after Subah prayer which is a torture of course.

So since last week, I started waking up 4:30, 5 or 6:00 AM the latest. waking up that early is no joke for me, It took me to gather all the strengths and mental power I had to detach myself from bed at such hour. Constantly reminding myself of the humiliation I endured the other day.

I created a daily schedule where I planned out the days of August and promised myself a reward if I live up to it. I told my sisters the story and asked them to wake me up aggressively if I don’t respond to my alarm.

Now, at 5:30 AM I get ready, prepare my smoothie and lunch, eat breakfast, and sometimes have time to watch TV! Then leave home, walk to the LRT station and STILL reach work early. Can you believe that? once I was the first one to get there. I felt so proud of myself. Now that's a miracle! Isn't?

But you know what's the real miracle?

I felt so much better knowing I wasn't compromising my work, not worrying about what my references would say when I apply for new opportunities. Not having to panic because I am even later than my usual ‘late’ and most importantly, taking the time to appreciate myself in front of the mirror reminding myself of how great I am; those moments are very rare and precious when you're always rushing. Just so you'd know.

I discovered the treasure punctual people had been hiding. Shout out to you xaasid people!

So here I am seven days clean from tardiness, taking a selfie with the sun, a smile on my face and time in my hands to spare before 7:30 AM!

By: Asia Aboosy