Me Without a Smart Phone? ..

I wonder if I would be this very Asia I am today had I lived in a different century or era. 

An era that had no technology and smartphones. An era where one isn't constantly bombarded with TOO much information, too much hate, too much resentment, too much criticism, too many options, too many opinions coming from too many virtual people you don't even know....everything is just TOO MUCH.

One can't breathe. One can't seem to have a moment to themselves.

The other day my battery died on my way home and I was riding the bus. I had 30 whole minutes to myself. I wanted to read but I wasn't carrying a book. I was left to be... with myself alone.

Be alone with myself?

Yes! And I realized that I hadn't been alone with myself for so long. In fact, I don't remember the last time I spend conscious time with myself.

It was a strange feeling; it was awkward.

Do not get me wrong, I do usually have a couple of minutes to myself before falling asleep, but I'm usually thinking of my plans for the following day, reflecting on something that happened that day, or reading my sleeping supplication. 

Did you read what I said there? a couple of MINUTES, not HALF AN HOUR, or more.

But this was strangely unexpected.

For a moment everything in my head was silent and it was like I was on the top of a mountain just by myself. No one to talk to, no company, no distractions. Nothing. Just me facing me.

It was a reunion kind of feeling, like meeting a close friend I haven't spoken to for a while. I needed a moment to reconnect again, to retrace my steps, and build on what we used to have.

When I met that friend, I couldnt be too pushy, I couldn't be invasive and ask too many questions, I couldn’t be extremely anxious of the silence..I had to let it be. 

I had to be calm and welcome any thoughts, ANY thoughts. Because for a while I was searching for a conversation to have with myself..

‘Let it be Asia. Just let it be...’

Anyway, that day got me thinking that we don't spend enough time with ourselves.

And some of us from this generation might depart this world not meeting, or knowing themselves. How sad is that?

We don't think enough of the affect that this revolution of technology have on us. How it made us all disconnected, not just from other, but ourselves too. How we think we are learning and are exposed to a lot of information, yet we can never have the patience to be on one thing for more than ten minutes.

The trade off is simple; our time and attention. But in exchange of what? what do we gain in this process though?

Being superficially connected to too many people?

having more pressure to compete with what others 'post' on social media posing as if they're leading perfect lives?

being anxious all the time not knowing why?

having the pressure to 'do' something for the sake of 'showing' the public you're leading an interesting life?

not being present in any moment and always checking your phone?

constantly worrying about how others are doing 'something' with their lives and you are not?

feeling like you’re stuck in the same place for years because now Facebook sends you reminders of your old posts?

I mean, I know it's only going to get worse than this. This technology and constant exposure isn't going anywhere. So it's time that we learn how to handle it wisely, in a way that doesn't harm us.

The other day, me and my sister were standing in a queue at TimHortons. An older man behind us in the queue saw us checking something online and wondered if we were ordering our drinks from the App. We weren't, but the man's questions was valid because we are a lazy generation who orders everything online even when we are inches away from the counter. We spoke briefly and he showed us his old flip phone. We laughed and I legit wondered how he survived in the world, without using the GPS, without using any apps, without using social media, without checking the weather, without using the internet to search...I mean, wait, what?..but I guess he's better of without it.

I bet he don't waste his time like us.
I bet he isn't addicted on the internet.
I bet he has more meaningful relationships than tagging each other on funny videos.
I bet he doesn't depend on the GPS because he uses his senses for direction.

Have you guys noticed how nowadays we need an app for everything, for direction, for eating, for sleeping, for feelings...etc.

And that's the problem, that's my issue with this technology, we lose touch with our instincts, our senses, with, basically, OURSELVES.

I am not proposing we get rid of our social media and smart phones, but I urge myself and this generation to be smart-ER in using them.

Let's spend sometime with ourselves, even if it's ten minutes or thirty minutes a day. Lets spend some un-social media interrupted time with our loved ones. Let’s try to be more present in our REAL lives. Let's try to be more grounded and learn who we are without our attachments to our phones and our virtual identities.

I read somewhere that a healthy rule of thumb when dealing with smartphones is to turn off your screen time an hour before you sleep, and to not check your social media first hour in the morning.

That is, if you want to be conscious of your thoughts and be more grounded in your life.

I don't know if I would be this Asia I am today had I lived in a different time, but what I know is this: 

I do want to live my full potential and be the highest form of myself. I want to be aware of my thoughts and not depend on any material things. I want my relationships to be more meaningful and I want to achieve self-actualization. 

To do so, I would have to learn to live without my smartphone for sometime each day. 

By: Asia Abbeys 😀

#socialmedia #meaningfulrelationships #Mindfulness #happiness#selfcare

My Journey with 'Somalinimo' and Meeting my Husband: Ahmed Deeq

I have never appreciated plain questions like: what is your happiest, or saddest moment, in life. 

I thought they were limiting. 

I, also, never believed that one moment can define your life: you can have many equally happy moments, or equally sad moments in life. Indeed, I thought, our lives are complex and our questions should be too. 

But after many years I realized that, surely our lives are complex, but one single moment can change the trajectory of your life to a completely new dimension. 

Now if you ask me a plain question such as: 'What is the moment you're most grateful for Asia?', I would gladly answer you. 

I want to show you how a single moment, or a simple interaction with a complete stranger can change who you're fundamentally. 

But to do so, I will have to give you some background. 

When I first met my now husband, Ahmed Deeq, in Malaysia in 2010, we were classmates. Complete strangers. I was new to Malaysia, and my new found 'Somalinimo' was still very tender and fragile. 

Previously, I lived in Syria for many years. For the longest time, I didn't have a sense of 'Somalinimo' and who I was. Yes, I heard stories about our land. Yes, I listened to some relatives recounting the horrors of the 'Qax' (forced migration) period in Somalia. 

But it didn't mean anything to me. No one I knew, or directly related to me, was affected by it. My parents left Mogadishu few months before the collapse of the central government. 

Doma, the city we lived in for many years had only four Somali families. That's it. Their children also were born in the diaspora so they also didn't have a sense of home, or identity. 

Understandably, I blended in my environment then, Syria. I forgot I was Somali. 

Till, I was reminded. 

Fast forward to when I came to Malaysia, I encounter a huge Somali community. A neighborhood in Kuala Lumpur was called 'Muqdishu yare'; you'd see Somalis sitting in the cafe's, outside cafes, walking around, children running around, Somali grandmas accompanying their children. Suddenly, I feel Somali again. I am reconnected with my ‘Somalinimo’. 

Little did I know that 'Somalinimo' doesn't mean one thing. and it’s more than just an ethnicity. 

I romanticized the word ‘Somalinimo.’ I fell in love with it. I had hope that, one day soon, I will pay a visit to the homeland I've never seen. I attended Cultural events. I cheered LOUDLY for the Dhantoo and the blue flag. Then, I saw another flag that was also, to my surprise, Somali. It was the first time, believe it or not, I was introduced to the concept of Somaliland. 

I couldn't accept it. I resisted it. 

In the English class that Ahmed (a fierce Somalilander), and I shared we had many debates. He used to write essays about the political history of Somaliland. I, on the other hand, used to rob him of this right. I used to debate with him and turn the whole class atmosphere to a debate arena of Somalia vs. Somaliland. 

In hindsight, this is what I think: I was an 'imposter.' I pretended I knew something I didn't know and defended a fantasy. 

When in reality Ahmed was..defending his truth. 

Ahmed has lived his whole life in the mother country. Ahmed lived its political chaos, his whole family was affected by its outcome. He believed in the re-birth of Somaliland. 

And here I am a person who didn’t, yet, step a foot in Somalia/Somaliland has the audacity to open my mouth. 

Outrageous, right? 

Whether you agree or disagree with me, he was closer to the truth than I was ever. 

But anyhow, he tolerated me. He tried to be rational with me but I wasn't having it, till we finally agreed to disagree. 

We parted ways; I moved to the Philippines. 

Years later, we get in touch again, while I'm working in SOMALILAND. Of course, he could not believe it. 

This time around I was more mature and open-minded. We dissected issues and talked about Somali history. 

I learned more history from Ahmed than I ever did from any textbook. 

Looking back, what I appreciate most about him is that he always kept the door wide open for discussion, he never attacked or slandered anyone, he was straight to the point, and always dissected issues like an expert. Because he is one (He has a bachelor and masters in Political Science). 

I, on the other hand, listened, this time around. Because I knew better. I had the chance to go to the mother land, work, and live there. 

I understood that 'Somalinimo' was complex. 

However, I had a better sense of what 'Somalinimo' is. And what constitutes a Somali person. 

For me, it's, of course, bigger than recent history, division, and/or politics. It goes way back. It's our back bone.

I could not be more wrong when I tied 'Somalinimo' to a political symbol like a flag. Then tried to defend it. 

I am, now, married to that Somalilander and I am PROUD of it.

Through out my journey of discovering my Somali identity, what 'Somalinimo' means to me, the realities of what's called 'Somali Weyn' (The greater Somalia), Ahmed was there. 

And never did he judged or belittled my version of 'Somalinimo', he never called me 'Ciyaal caseer', he, also, never imposed ‘his’ version of ‘Somalinimo’ on me either. He only discussed. 

And I wish more of us can do that. If we did that,I’m sure Somalia Weyn would be a less problematic place. 

So, here's my answer to your 'plain' question: 

'I am grateful for the moment I opened my mouth, though foolish, that day because I had the chance to meet this great man I now call my husband; Ahmed Mahamed. 

💜

By: Asia Aboosy 

Ps. This picture was taken in Hargeisa Cadeey. 

#Somalinimo #Somalia #Somaliland #Journey #Love #Marriage #Writing#Article #SomaliyaadiyoSomalilander #SomaliCouple