My New Pep Talk

Every morning I have a dramatic fight with myself in order to pull myself out of the blankets it doesn’t matter how early I slept the night before. I think to myself ‘you’d get used to it or your body would condition itself ‘but, no, it never really does.

“I am shallow” “I am a very lazy person” “Asia you will never reach your dreams if you continue in this route” I tell myself as I rush off late from my door.

My father is a workaholic. I always admired his hard work and respect for time. How he manages and disciplines himself. I remember one night while I was wide awake at night watching some addictive Tv show. I heard an alarm sound going off, and then the next thing I know was my dad opening the door and entering the wash room to pray Salatul Qiyam . I can swear that the course of the alarm didn’t even finish.

I asked my dad the next morning how he manages to wake up instantaneously like that, he said “In the presence of Allah’s messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, a man who slept at night until morning was mentioned. Allah’s messenger (PBUH) said that is such a man whose ear the Satan urinated. I want to piss off Iblis that’s why I jump off from bed”

On other occasion my dad said he tell himself this, when he finds it very challenging to wake up “Hurdooy wan ku so dhimanaya” meaning “sleep, I will find you when I die” that’s how my dad maximizes and stretches his abilities to do his eibada (worship) and work.

I think one has to have specific short-term goals that keeps him grinding, that pulls him off bed in the morning. You need to wake up earlier than others if you want to reach higher peaks, if you want to cross wider seas, to attain more ajar you need sujuud before Allah while everyone else is asleep.

I lack that focus now. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do have big goals in the grand scheme of my life. I want to be closer to my Creator (Allah) Inshallah. I want to be somewhere big with my Psychology career in my mid-thirties.I want to become a writer and a motivational speaker on the side. But how can I ever reach anything when all the books I'm reading are half completed. When I do my work half-heartedly and don’t go that extra mile. When I don’t give my writing the daily doses it requires. When my sleeping takes 1/3 of my time? And most importantly when my Qura’an is picked up only on Fridays?.

The only real journey in life is our journey towards our creator, discovering what our ultimate purpose is in this life. Re-connecting with what is natural and innate in us and ultimately connecting with our Creator and worshipping him the way he only deserves.

Some of us were blessed more than other and were taught that divine truth early one. Some of us were taught but still took the U turn to return back. Some are still searching (May Allah make it easy for them and guide them to the right path). We don’t all start the race from the same point but we all struggle with our own limitations and urges. And we all sin differently.

However, we tend to be so consumed with our earthly goals that we forget our here-after goals. We tend to care about looking good and enhancing our external appearances (make-up, Botox) and forget to purify our souls from inside, to pray our 5 prayers each day, to read Quraan on daily basis. Forgetting that the further we get from Allah the more miserable we will become. 

There is one thing that Omar Binu Alkhatab said that is echoing in my head right now  “account for yourself before your held accountable” So he used to make this his ritual every night were he count the good deeds he has done that day and the not so good ones.

I think I need that in my life right now. Where I hold myself accountable every night and put my Salat, my Quraan reading, my sleeping hours, my goals for that day on check. There is this idea in Psychology where a habit formation takes 21 days to get used to. I’ll give that a try?

Its past 1 am now and I have work early morning tomorrow, how will I manage to wake up ? I dont know.

I will tell this to myself tomorrow morning as I struggle to open my eyes “Lets piss off Iblis and the  haters"  then i'll roll my eyes up to heaven and stand up asking myself "what benefit did writing that piece add to me??" lol

But , I won’t call myself ‘lazy, shallow or not very ambitious’ I will just work on my Pep talk.  

Good Night Folks :) 

Asia