Suffocated girl..

“You know I never felt home, ever!!” she said suddenly, tapping her hena polished fingers nervously on her large neat table before her.
“What?” said Hodan who was busy typing on her pinkish, as usual, busy phone, she glanced on her with questioning eyes and a blank mind, than back to her screen. “hahaha, never mind ” said Hinda throwing her hand in the air in a , seemingly, careless motion. 
“Thank God she didn’t hear me” Hinda thought “what got into my stupid mind, why would she care about my problems “ ,”But she’s my best friend?” said a defensive mute voice in her mind. “I shall not share my dreads, my horrendous fears that creep into my soul all the time, my insecurities that made me who I am” She believed that the uniqueness of people came from the variations of their personal torments.
“HAHAHHAHAHHA Girlll, look at this vine from the Somali memes” “so funny wallah”
“Show me” said Hinda but Hodan was already half way through her second one, she was addicted on them, “why can’t I be just like her” “a free soul!”
Hinda went quite back to her haunting thoughts, sitting peacefully on her executive chair, making circular motions with it, going right ...going left..... and wearing her coat above her blue hijab that matched with her eyeliner. She was sad, a bit into the first stage of depression, she felt lonely sinking into the piles of her growing anxieties by day.
She looked out from the window at her back, the weather outside was beautiful and springy, her face relaxed, and took a deep deep breath.
There was a tasty pleasure, a sense of relief in confining into someone, in “talking about it”, in thinking out loud with a trusted friend, in mirroring them problems and distancing yourself a bit, even for awhile.
But she was never brave enough. Never like Hodon, Hodon who always shared her stories, her problems and laid them bare before her eyes and chopped them right in the core, she obviously trusted her and she felt honored for that, but couldn’t reciprocate!!
Suddenly, she heard a loud voice coming from distant “hellooooooooo?” Hodan was saying shouting behind her “where did you go woman?” , “blacking out again on me, on meeeeeee girlfriend????”
Hinda turned with a swift motion.
“I am sorry hun, what were you saying” she said apologetically, pleading with her narrowed eye brows and honest eyes.
“Are we going to that wedding of Halimo tonight or what?!”
“Hmmm ,of course, she’s our girl, duhhh!!!”
In fact she just wanted to escape.
TO BE CONTINUED ....

Asia aboosy