Struggle. Gossip. ..and Motherhood

She was ranting un-stoppable in the car while we drove back to the community centre from a court hearing. She was mad, very sad. she was broken and feeling hurt over the judge's decision, though she expected it.

We were five women in the car. I couldn't figure out what bothered her more; the fact that her thirty plus  years son remained in custody or the judging eyes and rumours of other ladies who made her feel like shit.

She continued "If they want to talk behind my back let them be brave enough and say it in my face, Can they do that ?? Can they ?? .. I swear ill remove their eyes with my bare fingers...do they think they're better than me..do they??! . Those mothers who hide the bastards of their daughters..they really think people don't know about their dirty little dark secrets, at least my son never had one of those " she laughed devilishly.

I felt like she was pinpointing to one of the ladies who were with us, or who we all knew.

Being a mother is hard enough on its own without being under the microscope of society and their sharp tongues . Other mothers, especially, make it harder for mothers out there. I mean isn't enough for mothers that they're already feel guilty and under constant self criticism ,most of the time.

 Don't you think they  already have enough on their plates, enough weight hanging from their shoulders and blurring their minds...Being a mother, really, is a continues examination until you're buried or go completely deaf. People judge you for whatever you're children do even when they're grown ass people over their thirties.

Many people undermine the effect of gossiping behind a friend's back. In  our Somali culture they do it all the time. and sometimes you wonder if these women have any lives of their owns. Why don't they mind their own plates instead of peaking into other's full dishes. Stop chatting about other mother's children on phone for hours, all day long, when your own are in the streets. when your own are on crack or even something worse. Clean up your closet first like the ranting mother said.

We all have struggles of our own in life. different hardships we need to overcome. obstacles that were laid before us by Allah (swt) to test us. If you're busy looking at your neighbours you will stumble at your own. If you don't have hitches in your way then extend a helping hand or an encouraging word, or even a warm smile will do. Those little tiny gestures go a long way wallahi, and you'll never know, one day you might need them yourself.

It's sad that we undermine the weight of gossiping. The consequences of that little muscle hanged  inside our mouths.

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “Whoever guards what is between his jaws and legs. I shall guarantee him paradise.” 

Stop gossiping about our mothers. Stop gossiping about or daughters. Stop making it harder for them and you may actually go to Jannah. Inshallah. 

Asia Aboosy