I will never be 'BOXED' or 'MEASURED' 

There is always pressure on girls almost in every culture. Pressure to look good but not too pretty. To feel confident; but not too bossy. To be educated; but not too educated of course. To be opinionated just the right amount so you won't offend others (mostly men). To be ambitious; but not threatening.

 It's even more funny when that pressure is imposed by other girls, who judge you based on your eyebrows or mispronunciation, or worse, by your hand bag!! Girls who would gossip about you for weeks if you don't choose to buy the latest Diraac in town to the wedding of a distant friend! (naaa noooo am wiser than that)

That pressure comes in different forms and colors. It comes from different people as well. From family to friends and YES sometimes from strangers, no matter how absurd that sounds.

In our Somali culture which is both family oriented and very vocal. We often find ourselves on the spot all the time. They won't even hide their opinions about you; they will throw it on your face even if it hurts. ‘When will she get married?’ , they will start asking as soon as you reach 20! and will treat you like a gumees (spinster) When will she stop talking back (they doubt you will ever keep a husband that's if you ever succeed in haunting one from the first place!). Why is she so fat "what do you feed her? (alla maxaa siisa) why do you allow her to eat!!", they will ask your hoyoo right in front of your face while your bowing down in front of them serving them shah (tea). Just roll your eyes until you can’t see her, block your ear holes with your lost pubils and walk away.

You can apply the same technique with whoever bothers you or make fun of you. You don’t have to see them. You don’t have to listen to them. Block them from your life.

This constant pressure and nagging criticism could haunt down even the one with the strongest personality among us, the one that seem to not care or give an eff about it. And damned are you if you’re cursed with a perfectionist or pleasing personality like I do! 

Because the fact that matter is, people will always talk, especially the lifeless ones who deliberately stay on food stamps and welfare when they have the ability to work, and definitely the time! 

So don’t ever accept to be boxed or measured by a friend or anyone. Don’t get scared away from following your dreams and trying them out just because ‘people will laugh at you’. Don’t be afraid of 'going out and about' with your natural unmasked face even if your eyebrows weren’t 'on fleek'. 

Be yourself no matter what!.Celebrate yourself no matter who disagrees. Get comfortable with your skin and surround yourself with people who encourage you. People with positive attitude and if you feel like someone is bothering you roll your eyes back and block them right away. Un-follow their bull**t. 

Yes.Be selfish with your energy. Otherwise cheap people will continue talking and draining your energy and creativity. Until you turn into a zombie, a corpse that looks alive when it actually stopped living long time ago; when it first started listening to’ the others’ and muted its inner voice. 

So say it out loud to yourself and to others, Say it out loud with me  ' I WILL NEVER BE BOXED OR MEASURED' ' I WILL NEVER LISTEN TO HATERS or NAYSAYERS'. 'I AM ME'.

By: Asia Aboosy